Pre-Production | Topline, Synopsis and Treatment

I had already established a brief synopsis for the pitch, now I needed to work out the treatment and a more in-depth synopsis for the plot of 'VET-MAN' which will be a tremendous help when writing the script.  I began by writing the initial treatment, which would develop over time with the script.

Here is the topline and synopsis:

Tim has always dreamed of becoming a vet, but after failing his certification, he resorts to illicit means to keep his dream alive. 

"VET-MAN: On the Road focuses on Tim Stewart, who has always aspired to be a vet, but after failing his degree certification, he seeks to establish himself as a mobile vet.  After printing out his own diploma and borrowing his dad's old tools, he meets with naive third year veterinary student, Luke, as they seek out work in the ‘Vet Van’, but they soon realise that being a vet is more difficult than they anticipated."

I am happy with how the initial topline and synopsis, as the project has developed, they have stayed mostly the same.  I feel that it works to create a level of intrigue in the film without giving too much of the plot away.  For the first treatment, I essentially laid out every aspect of the plot as it was in the first few drafts of the script.  This was bound to change throughout the writing process.

Here is the first treatment:

"After failing his degree, we see Tim trying to break into his sister, Tess’ house.  She emerges, confused, asking what he is doing.  He did not expect her to be home, and he explains that he needs to borrow her printer.  She begrudgingly allows him to enter and use the printer, in the meantime they chat about how Tim has apparently finished his certification and he explains his plans to open his own practice, which is not going well for him.  He has in fact failed to pass his degree and is attempting to forge his diploma so he can open his own practice, but in order to raise money for the practice, he is going ‘on the road’ and advertising a mobile veterinarian service.  Tess notices that he is printing a diploma and prods him on whether he can legally practice as a vet to which he assures her he can, and that he has an appointment at an owl sanctuary (the Kent Owl Academy) later that day.  She is doubtful, and warns him not to go through with it, but she lets him go on his way.

Tim meets with Luke, a fellow veterinary student who is in his third year at university and his father Pete, as they are equipping Pete’s van for veterinary work.  They are excited to reveal their slogan that is stencilled on the side of the van, but when the door is opened, a very different message is displayed on the door. Tim berates Pete and he gets upset, and he begins to cry.  Tim consoles Pete and he heads to the pub to calm down.  Meanwhile, Tim and Luke head out to the owl sanctuary to treat an ill owl.

On their way to the pub, Tim accidentally runs over a dog and they attempt to revive it in the back of the van but he is interrupted by an old lady which causes him to kill the dog instead.  The old lady, Sheila, is out looking for her pet ‘Sooty’ and Tim and Luke quickly realise that they have just killed her pet.  Luke is about to tell her the bad news, when Tim steps in and says that they’ll help her look for Sooty.  Luke goes along with it and Tim suggests to Sheila that she go inside for tea while they “search” for Sooty.  Tim lashes out at Luke for distracting him on the road and blames him for killing the dog, but Luke says he’ll make it up to him as he has a plan to get them off the hook.  He heads to the old lady with the dog in a bin bag to tell her that they found it at the roadside.  Sheila is tearful at the news but grateful that they helped her.  However, she lets slip that Sooty was in fact a cat, not a dog so Luke tries to take the dog back off of her.  It is too late and she takes it in to bury later.  Luke heads back to the van and tells Tim what has happened - Tim mocks him and they set off again to the owl sanctuary.

When they arrive, they are met by Tess who tells the two that she has called a rival vet, Graham, in to treat the owl that Tim was supposed to be seeing.  Tim is furious but Tess tries to reconcile with him by saying that the owner, Mollie, has said they can fly some of the owls.  Tim is reluctant, as he is frightened of owls, but when Tess mocks him for it, he agrees to do it.  We see Luke flying one of the owls first, before Tim takes the gauntlet.  When the bird is in the air, however, Tim gets frightened and punches it out the air, killing it instantly.

We then see Tim, Tess and Luke are having a drink at the pub after a very stressful day.  Tess is angry with Tim for his antics during the day, but Tim struggles to see what went wrong.  He then makes eye contact with Sheila and her son Gareth in the pub, she recognises him and points, causing Gareth to stand up and confront Tim.  The next thing we see is Tim, Tess and Luke stood in the pub car park as Tim has a black eye and bleeding nose.  Tess says he deserved that and strongly advises that he give up for now and go back to finish his degree before heading home.  Tim drives Luke home and they agree to keep on trying."


As I worked my way through more script drafts, the first treatment felt a lot more convoluted and the different parts of the story were not working together as I originally thought they initially had.  The issue here is that I was picturing the action in my head without considering it for the script, however as the script developed I was able to alter the original treatment into something that made a lot more sense and fit in with the script

Here is the final treatment:

"After failing his degree in Veterinary Medicine, we see Tim searching through his sister, Tess’ house.  She arrives home, confused, asking what he is doing. He did not expect her to be home, and he explains that he needs to borrow their dead father’s old tools.  She interrogates him about his plans and he admits he and third year veterinary student, Luke, are attempting to start a mobile vet company. He has in fact failed to pass his degree, but Tess sees right through him.  She asks him where he is going he tells her they have a job lined up at the Kent Owl Academy, an owl sanctuary. Tess reluctantly gives him the tools before warning him about misleading Luke and illegality of what he is doing, he assures her he has everything under control and leaves anyway to meet Luke.

Tim meets with Luke as he is equipping a van for veterinary work.  They are excited to reveal their slogan that is stencilled on the side of the van “We love animals, from cats to cockerels, we care!”, but when the door is opened, a very different message is displayed on the door “We love large cock”.

On their way to the owl sanctuary, Tim accidentally runs over a dog and they attempt to revive it in the van but he is interrupted by an old lady which causes him to kill the dog instead. The old lady, Sheila, is out looking for her pet ‘Sooty’ and Tim and Luke quickly realise that they have just killed her pet.  Luke is about to tell her the bad news, when Tim steps in and says that they’ll help her look for Sooty. Luke goes along with it and Tim suggests to Sheila that she go inside for tea while they “search” for Sooty.

Tim lashes out at Luke for distracting him on the road and blames him for killing the dog - he tells him to go and deliver the bad news whilst he cleans away the blood.  He heads to the old lady with the dog in a bin bag to tell her that they found it at the roadside. Sheila is tearful at the news but grateful that they helped her. However, she lets slip that Sooty was in fact a cat. Luke runs back to the van and tells Tim and they speed away.

When they arrive, Tim reveals to Luke that they do no have an appointment, and that they are instead there to convince the owner, Mollie, that they could do veterinary work for her.  She refuses, and the two frustratedly head back to the van.  They return later that evening and administer some MDMA to the owl.  The next morning, the owl is in a frenzy and Mollie struggles to tame it until Tim arrives.  He offers to help and Mollie begrudgingly lets him take a look.  He injects a serum into the owl, thinking its is morphine, but he mistakenly gives it more MDMA.  It comes to attack him, and in a panic, Tim punches it out the air, killing it instantly.

We then see Tim (with a black eye) and Luke are having a drink at the pub after a very stressful day.  He then makes eye contact with Sheila and her friend Mark in the pub, she recognises him and points, causing Mark to stand up and confront Tim. The next thing we see is Tim and Luke stood in the pub car park as Tim has another black eye and bleeding nose.  As they try to look back at the past 48 hours, sirens are heard and the pair make a run for it."


As the credits roll, we see Tim and Luke in police custody, paying the price for their antics..."

I am much happier with this treatment than the first.  As the script has developed and become punchier, the treatment has also evolved with a better flow to the story.  I feel it makes a lot more sense now and gives a better overview of the plot. 

Pre-Production | Character Profiles

Before I started writing the script, Simon recommended that I fully realise my characters so that I have a better understanding as to how they react to the events that will happen in the story.  This will also help once it comes to auditioning our actors, so that they can get a better feel for the characters they will be playing.

I began by creating a template, using resources I had found online and anything I thought would be relevant to the narrative and how the characters would interact with one another.  The more detail I add, the more useful this will be for the script and for the cast as they will need to know the characters well before they play the role.  Knowing characters' backstories and motivations will also enable them to improvise with greater flexibility so that they can divert from the script and improvise based on what else they know about the character.

Here is the template I devised:

Basic Information

• Name:
• Age:
• Nationality: 
• Occupation: 
• Family:
• Relationships

Physical Characteristics

• Height:
• Weight:
• Glasses: 
• Skin colour:
• Dress style:
• Mannerisms:
• Speech patterns:

Personal Attributes

• Educational background:
• Intelligence level:
• Religious/spiritual beliefs:
• Mental illnesses:
• Short term goals:
• Long term goals:
• How do they see themselves?
• How do they think others see them?
• How self-confident are they?
• Emotional characteristics
• Strengths:
• Weaknesses:
• Introvert / Extrovert:
• How do they deal with anger?
• ...sadness?
• ...conflict?
• ...change?
• ...loss?
• What do they want out of life?
• What motivates them?
• What frightens them?
• What makes them happy?
• Are they judgemental of others?
• Are they generally polite or rude?

Relationships with other characters?

I used this to create profiles for the central character, Tim, and the other major characters, Luke and Tess.  Sheila, Mollie and Pete were fairly minor roles at this point, so I opted not to over-complicate their profiles too much as their roles only really serve to advance the plot.

Tim's Character Profile:

Luke's Character Profile:



Tess' Character Profile:



I also devised some profiles for some of the minor characters and even some characters that will not appear, but will provide some extra backstory for the narrative and the major characters' motivations:



UPDATE:

As the script has developed, these profiles have also changed to fit in with how the story has changed since writing these initial profiles.  I have also refined them in long form, which has a nicer flow to it, in my opinion, and will look a lot nicer in the package.

The most notable change is the lack of Pete - after reworking his scene and from my feedback from Simon, it became apparent that Pete did not serve much of a purpose to the plot so I decided to remove him from the scene.  This was after we had auditioned for Pete, so we decided to keep the actors that auditioned for his part on record in case we could find something for them - perhaps for 'Mark' who appears in the penultimate scene.

Mollie's role in the script had also expanded and so we decided to cast one of the actress' that auditioned for Tess as Mollie.  We were originally going to use the real Mollie who runs the sanctuary, since she had very few lines and would know how to handle the owls.  However, since she now had a more significant role, I expanded on the character and Becky was enthusiastic about taking on this part.

Tim Stewart:

Tim - 30 - has been studying to become a vet in his father’s footsteps, in the hope of winning back his ex-girlfriend Olivia, who has moved to Africa to volunteer at a wildlife reserve. He studied Veterinary Medicine at the Royal Veterinary College, University of London, but after failing his degree, he is now trying to set up his own illegal mobile vet service with the help of fellow classmate, Luke.

Tim is an intelligent man, but he is very arrogant and believes he is a lot more capable than he actually is. He is an extrovert, and can be quick to anger if people disagree with him. He comes across as arrogant, yet somewhat charming and charismatic, and he will try to make the best of a bad situation - when he is with a patient for example. Tim is very driven and will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.  He makes the most of a bad situation - if he has does something wrong, he will often find a way to cover his tracks. He has a sharp wit and is charismatic.

Tim has narcissistic traits and sometimes delusional with regards to his abilities.  Tim thinks that his sister is out to ruin his dreams of becoming a vet because he thinks she was the favourite child.  He thinks that he comes across as a competent and almost heroic figure. Tim can come across as confident and as someone who knows what they are doing, but his true self comes to light fairly quickly.  He appears cocky and dismissive of other people - Luke is the only person who truly looks up to Tim and believes what he says. Tim is very self-confident, but deep down, Tim knows that he should not be practicing as a vet until he passes his degree certification, but he is too proud to admit to it.

Tim is quick to anger, but will never resort to violence, he will berate whoever is making him angry.  Tim struggles to deal with his emotions, he will try his best to hide any sadness, and will only open up if he is pushed to breaking point.  He is very defensive and finds it very difficult to accept that he is wrong when he is in any sort of conflict. He will try to hide his feelings of loss, as he does with sadness, but when he is alone, he will become angry and upset with loss.  To people that agree with him, Tim is generally quite polite, but once you are on the wrong side of his favour, he will become more rude and impatient.

After living in his father’s shadow and losing Olivia, he is motivated to become a better vet than his father was, and by the thought that if he can achieve this, he may win her back.  In the short term, Tim aims to get new patients for his new mobile vet business. His long term goal is to set up his own vet surgery and become a better vet than his father was so that he can win the affection of Olivia.

Luke Lucas:

Luke - 20 - is a third year student and the Royal Veterinary College and is currently working with Tim, helping him to set up his illegal mobile vet service.

He is very naive and impressionable, and he looks up to Tim as his mentor even though Tim is not a very good role model. He does his best to try and impress Tim and will sometimes blindly follow his example.

Luke is a very likeable and caring person, and he comes across as very innocent. He has average intelligence but can often lack common sense, especially when it comes to working with Tim.  Luke is very good at his university work, but as a result of his naivety, he has fallen in with Tim’s schemes.

In the short term, he wants to impress Tim and help him to get the mobile vet business up and ready to go, so that in the future he can pass his degree and become a vet.  He sees himself as capable and willing to learn, but he can often slip up and embarrass himself.

Luke is an optimist, he will usually see the best in any situation.  He is very polite and will avoid conflict as much as possible.

Tess Connolly:

Tess - 34 - is an estate agent and is sister to aspiring vet, Tim.  She has been very successful in life and has a fruitful and blossoming career. Whilst she loves her brother, she can come across as very demanding and meddling when it comes to his schemes, and she often gets annoyed with him - especially his antics involve breaking the law.

She is married to Aidan Connolly - 35 - who is a calm and easy-going person, compared to her louder and more commanding persona. Despite this hardened exterior, she is a caring person and genuinely just wants what is best for her family.  They have two young children together, James - 4 - and Alicia - 6.

In the short term, she wants to try and convince Tim to give up with his illegal mobile vet practice, so that in the long run, they can have a better relationship.

Sheila Hodges:

Sheila - 73 - is a sweet old lady who lives alone with her cat, Sooty.  She is very kind and gentle, would not do harm to anybody. She has a daughter, son-in-law and two young grandchildren, whom visit her every other week.  Other than her family, her cat is the most important part of her life and she would be devastated if anything were to happen to him. 

She is a little bit senile, and can sometimes say things without realising what they may not come across how she intends to.  She wants to spend her retirement spending time with her family and her cat. 

Mollie Jackson:

Mollie - 25 - is the self-made and determined owner of The Kent Owl Academy. She’s been working with animals all her life and her passion for owls has driven her to start her own business in caring for them. She is a very confident person and will not bow down to pressure.

Pre-Production | Research: Writing and Directing Comedy

Aside from the Transitions unit last year, I do not have a great deal of experience in writing or directing comedy, so more research into the genre is vital.

I have looked into some comedy scenes and sketches that I find stand out for me - one of the most important things for me to consider when writing comedy is that I find it funny.  As I found through researching Armando Iannucci, "a comedy writer can only be a good comedy writer if they write what makes them laugh, not what makes other people laugh", and so looking at my favourite comedy scenes will be important in establishing how I can write and direct comedy.  I realise that nothing kills a joke more than explaining it in arduous detail but working out why I appreciate these scenes will help me to establish how i can make my own film funny.

Harry and Paul: Question Time




This sketch is a spoof of BBC's Question Time and the thing that sticks out for me is how accurate it is to the actual Question Time format.  The sketch is completely on-the-nose, but succeeds due to how a Question Time viewer would recognise these sorts of cliche lines from an actual Question Time panel and audience.  The dead-pan delivery also adds to this, making the sketch believable despite the uninteresting and cliche comments from the audience, which is an accurate parody of the real Question Time.  This is supported by the mis en scene which very closely matches with the real format.

That Mitchell and Webb Look: "Are we the baddies?"




This is a classic scene from That Mitchell and Webb Look and the humour shines through from the contradiction of what we would expect of two Nazi officers.  The manner of which David Mitchell's character so innocently asks "are we the baddies?" when we would expect a member of the SS to completely unsympathetic works very well.  The joke depends on the subversion of our expectations to what he would say.  I feel a large part of this is down to David Mitchell's performance as the dichotomy of what we would expect of a SS officer.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: "I want it that way"




This scene from Brooklyn Nine-Nine stands out for me because of the absurdity of the situation.  Like with the previous sketch, the humour is drawn out through the subversion of our expectations - the pacing of the scene also works perfectly up to the punchline.  

Big Train: Workplace W*nking

The defining success of this scene is absolutely down to the performances of the cast and their perfect dead-pan tone.  If we replaced the word 'w*nking' with 'smoking', this would come across as a typical office conversation, but the simplicity of placing something vulgar into such a mundane setting with no attention being drawn to it, the scene works perfectly.

The Thick of It: "You bought a bank?!"




Comedy does not have to come through specific jokes or one-liners but the build up of a scene and an whole situation can draw humour.  The Thick of It does this very well with the help of its stellar ensemble cast who deliver their lines so graciously and realistically.  The humour here comes from their chemistry and natural delivery which surpasses the need for laugh-out-loud jokes.  The closest we get to this is the line  "you bought a bank out of social embarrassment? I sometimes buy the Big Issue out of social embarrassment, I don't buy a fucking bank!".  The sarcasm comes through so well with such a harsh yet amusing metaphor makes the whole scene flow together very naturally with a strong sense of humour.

It is important to consider tone in comedy.  Not every line needs to be a joke, as D.B. Gilles (screenwriting lecturer at New York University) argues that "a strong story without a lot of laughs is preferable to a weak story with three jokes per page".  The Thick of It tends to follow this rule, the comedy is instead build up layer by layer through the abilities of the cast and the quality of the script.  If I over-saturate my script with too many jokes, it will get tiring very quickly, and so I would prefer to write more 'slow burning' jokes in my script so the film still flows well as a film as well as a comedy film. 

Overall, when it comes to writing and directing VET-MAN, I must consider tone as the central foundation for the success of the writing.  The believability of the film will be vital for the juxtaposing the real with the surreal.  Subverting the audiences expectations is another key to comedy - I feel I have a start by writing for a vet that kills animals, but there is a way to go to realise how else I can do this through the narrative.  The casting process will be vital to ensure that I can work with my actors to translate the script into something confidently funny and competent.

Pre-Production | Idea Development and Pitch

After taking on board the feedback from our initial tutorial, we got to work on improving the initial idea so that we could pitch it to Simon and the group, with the aim of getting the green light to move on with the pre-production work.

We have decided to stick with the original 'VET-MAN' concept and to continue to develop the idea that Dr Stewart has lost his vet license and is going 'on the road' as a mobile vet to try to make money and set up his own practice on day.  From Simon's tutorial, I had another look at the story and refined some of the ideas and carried out some more research into key plot points to create a more believable and achievable story.  For example, I have looked into the process of becoming a vet in real life so that our central character, Tim, can have more a more believable back story.  A lot of veterinary doctors study at the Royal Veterinary College at the University of London, which is amongst the top 3 veterinary schools in the world.  This is a five year course and afterwards, students are qualified to work in veterinary practices.  This research is key to creating the world of 'VET-MAN' as plausible as possible.

We each contributed for our own parts of the pitch and came up with this:



The pitch went fairly well and I feel we conveyed the idea well.  We had a few questions relating to genre - i.e. how we would delve deeper into Tim's character from an absurd surreal character to a more grounded and tragic character.

Simon gave us the green light to go ahead with production but also gave us some pointers on where to go next with the project and the plot in the script in particular:

• The title 'On the Road' is quite similar to the 'Office' spinoff film 'David Brent: Life on the Road'.  This is a fairly common phrase anyway but I agree it is a bit too similar, especially as they will both have a similar comedic tone to each other.  For the moment, we have decided to simply call it 'VET-MAN' as working title which we can change later on if we wish.
• In the pitch, the tone was not entirely clear - we suggested macabre but did not clarify how this was going to be achieved.  I feel we will aim to make it quite dark and it will involve death as Tim inadvertently kills animals.
• Simon also suggested that I fully flesh out the central character before writing the script.  This includes his motivations, back story - why he is motivated to do what he does.  He also suggested that I add a rival to bounce off of Tim and act as catalyst for the things that he does.

These were useful points to work on as I continue to develop the script - the next step now is to work on the treatment and character profiles which will be extremely useful when it comes to producing the first draft script.